They say March comes in like a lion.  Well, watch out because he's going to be hungry since we ate the lamb at the February meeting.  Damn! that little guy was tasty.

At the March meeting, we’ll have barley wines to douse smoldering coals of the chili competition at Jeff Scheerhorn's house.  There’ll be trophies for three places in three categories of chili (that’s nine trophies, for you mathematically disinclined folks).

Information for all this and more is in this month's KGB Files.

Oh, I almost forgot.  Look for instructions on how you can save an extra 6% on every single solitary thing at KegCowboy.com.  Don’t go there unless you want to find great prices on beer dispensing equipment; kegerator kits, kegs, CO2 regulators, taps, etc.

Several things went haywire at once to cause the web site’s recent problems.  One of them was that the search engine had run amok and added over seven million records to one of its tables.  I ended up freeing up a huge amount of space by clearing the search tables, but the downside of this action is that the search function won’t work for you until the background process gets around to indexing the web site again.  This will likely take several days.

There is an alternative, though, and it’s really a better solution in the first place, if you ask me.  The answer is to use Google.  Now, Google hasn’t found every link on here, either, so some of the old newsletters haven’t been indexed yet, but I think the rest of the site has.  Oh, and the newest Forum posts aren’t indexed immediately, either.¹

“So how do you use Google to search the KGB web site?” you wonder out loud.  Just add site:thekgb.org anywhere in your Google search and it will limit its results to the KGB web site.  Awesome, ain’t it?  As an example, here’s a quick search of the site for the word t-shirt.

In fact, if you just do a Google search for site:thekgb.org, you’ll see every page that Google has indexed on this site (174 links as of right this second).

As always, if you have any questions, don’t hesitate to contact your Minister of Propaganda.  He aims to please.

¹ Duh!

UPDATE: I may have found enough room in the database to hold off the demons for a while.  Time will tell.

Some users have experienced problems logging in. The reason is, the web site’s database is nearly at its size limit. If you see an error message while trying to add something (e.g., a forum message or enrolling in one of the events on the calendar) or doing anything that would store an event in the log (e.g., logging in, changing your user preferences, etc.), this is probably the reason.

I will start looking for a permanent solution to this problem. The obvious one is to upgrade the hosting account, but the next step up would put quite a dent in the treasury.

In the mean time, please do not log off. If you do, email the MOP and I'll see if purging the log will allow you to log in (this would be a temporary solution at best, but it worked for me and the RC). When you do log on, be sure to check the Remember Login box so you aren't automatically logged out when you leave.

Aside from Valentine's day and President's day, what happens in February?  How about if we feast on spit-roasted lamb while sampling our fine commissar brewski’s fine selection of fine holiday and exotic beers?  Huh, comrades?  Huh?!  Read all about it in this month's KGB Files.

Oh, and here’s a list of some of the brews that are on the menu for the BOM:  Great Lakes Weizenbock, Otter creek Raspberry Brown, Full Sail Wassail, Weyerbacher Imperial Pumkin, Steel Reserve, Saint Arnold Christmas, Alaskan Winter Ale, Great Divide Hibernation, Heather Ale, Triple B Honey Ale, Left Hand Rye, Mad River Black Ale, Old Danish Braggot, 2 Turtle Doves, Anchor Christmas 2003, Anchor Christmas 2008, Grand Teton Double ESB, Berliner Weiss, Doppelsticke Alt, Ayinger Dunkel, Bells Cherry Stout, Oldell’s Isolation Ale, Dogfish Pumpkin Brown ale, New Glarus Cranberry, Dog Fish – Immortal Ale, Dog Fish Raison, Schell’s Snowstorm, Dog Fish Pangaea

The Bluebonnet Brew-off, held every year in Dallas, is a large and prestigious homebrew competition.  Winning a ribbon with one of your beers in this contest gives you instant homebrewing bona fides.  It’s also the first leg of the Lone Star Circuit and can earn you points toward that lofty goal.

Many homebrewers would enter their beers in faraway competitions if shipping liquid-filled glass bottles wasn’t so cost prohibitive.  Well, fret no longer, comrades, because KGB Ruble Collector Phillip Kaufman is coming to the rescue and he will personally deliver KGB members’ entries to Dallas in time for the February 25 deadline.

If you would like to have your beer entered in the Bluebonnet Brew-off, deliver your beer along with all entry forms and fees to either Brew-It-Yourself by noon on February 20, or to the next KGB meeting by 3pm that same day.

Hail to the RC!

Traditions don’t seem to last forever in the KGB and our “traditional” February fish fry has been suffering the last few years.  Even though we’d plan them, they’d turn out to be something else once you got to the meeting.  When you’ve got your hankering on for fish and chips and then they give you squid casserole with shrimp crackers, you’re not going to be a happy camper, even if you like chewing on rubber bands.

This year you won’t have to swallow that bitter pill of disappointment because we’re not promising you a delicious plateful of fried, flakey, flounder.  No, comrades, believe it or not, this year it’s going to be lamb roasted on spit!  Yes!

You may remember Robert Chan’s delicious goat curry dish from the Smörgåsbeerd last November.  If you missed that, I feel sorry for you because — well, just take my word for it, it was awesome.  The bar was set pretty high with that dish, but I have no doubts that he can live up to my superlatives since he’ll be cooking and serving on his home turf.

Don’t forget that we’ll be washing it all down with a BOM menu of holiday and exotic beers.  Check out the Events page and see what’s on the beer menu.  You’ll be glad you did.

I am already salivating in anticipation of this momentous occasion.  Take heed and stay the hell out of my way because I don’t want to knock you into those smoky, slow burning coals.

May 16 is fast approaching, comrades, and your English barleywines should have 99% of their journey to perfection behind them.  Now, so you don’t screw up and drink those last three bottles that you have squirreled away just for this purpose, why not download the BBBB entry form and mark those bottles so there’s no chance of a horrible, embarrassing mistake.  You’d never forgive yourself (and neither would we).

Prizes for this year are:

• Ribbons for 1st, 2nd, & 3rd place entries, courtesy of Saint Arnold, along with corresponding Gift Certificates valued at $80.00, $40.00, and $20.00, courtesy of DeFalco’s and Brew It Yourself.
• 1 Six-pack of Saint Arnold Divine Reserve brewed with your recipe for 1st place, courtesy of
  Saint Arnold Brewing Company.
• The Big Batch Heavy Hitters Award. A half-barrel keg of St. Arnold Beer will go to the Homebrew Club with the most qualifying 2nd round entries, courtesy of Saint Arnold Brewing Company.  In addition this Homebrew Club will be awarded the highly coveted Heavy Hitters Award Trophy.
• Kenneth Rich Memorial Award - A $100 cash prize will be donated by Marvin & Shirley Rich. This
  award goes to the First Time Contest Entrant with the Best Beer.

Remember, the deadline for mailing in your entries is May 7, 2010.  Alternatively, you can turn in your beers directly to our BBBB worker bees at the St. Arnold brewery on May 8 between noon and 2pm.  Late entries will be gladly accepted as well, but we’ll just drink those and thank you very much.

Do not miss this issue, comrades!

Wow, the first month we decide to start contracting for relevant news items with the API news service and damn if we didn't get more than our money's worth right out of the box.  They uncovered an incredible story that is so important to our readers that we felt it should bump the Czar's edicts down under the fold on the front page.  This is unprecedented, comrades!

In less shocking news, one of our newest comrades tells us about his first brewing experience in a story that is sure to take you back in time to your own early days of brewing.  Either that or it’ll make you realize just what a non-prodigy you really are.

The January 2010 KGB Files:  Setting the bar for a new decade in homebrew reporting.

Click here to read it.

Yes, folks, it's the KGB's official Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Brew-In.  While easily entertained people are jumping up and down along a parade route, we’ll be making our own fun by brewing beer in my driveway on January 18th.  I plan to start about 6am, so show up with your brewing kit and get started with me.

So far, we have one definite brew lined up (mine), two maybes (come on, Goudy and Sajda, lock it in!), and a few promises to show up for moral support whether they’re brewing or not.  We might even get the KGB to spring for pizza.

Scroll down to the bottom of the event particulars for the location.

Someday, we'll judge these beers by their character, instead of their color.  Well, maybe we’ll give their color three points at most, but that’s only 6% of the total maximum points, so can you really say it’s all that important?  Really?

Speaking of color; it’s a complete coincidence that I’m brewing a schwarzbier.  I swear! 

The folks at Southern Star aren’t allowed to say where you’ll find their Buried Hatchet Stout (damn you, worthless politicians!), but the Texas state legislature can’t muzzle me.  They’re canning right this minute and the first shipment should leave the brewery later today.  To get yours, try the downtown Spec’s tomorrow (Dec. 24), with other Spec’s locations to fall in line shortly after Christmas.  See their oh-so cryptic announcement here.